Awakening, our characters found themselves completely devoid of arms and armour and nude except a tiny loincloth that did little to cover our previously defined largeness. There was also a third character in the room; a gnome who still slept. Before we could react to this new person, the walls began closing in.
Tokyo Joe gave us a
quick rundown of the room. Now Paddy, upon character creation, had taken ranks in Spellcraft. Why? Who knows, but he used this opportunity to make a check before Tokyo could finish his description.
"Do I detect any sorcery?"
"No," Tokyo responded with a bewildered look, " but you do see three holes in one of the walls that isn't moving to crush you to death." We ran to them. Paddy put
his hand tentatively into one of the gaping maws to find a lever. He
turned it to no effect. I did the same to identical result. Sensing
that our new 'ally' wouldn't wake up in time to insert his hand and pull
the lever in the third hole, Paddy drew the short straw of the roll-off
and his character put his other hand in and we pulled simultaneously.
After a bit of pain our arms came back with ruby studs through the
wrists and a door opened.
Grabbing our tiny 'friend' with
my bedazzled arm, I slung him over my shoulder and followed Paddy out of
the room. We entered a hallway that went on for a while before
entering another room.
We spotted a mirror in the centre of the room but before we could look at it our tiny friend woke up. We dealt with the usual "who are you" type of questions (all in Dwarven) for awhile. Then we looked in the mirror. A lot.
The mirror told those who looked into it and failed a will save that "There will be only one". Paddy, the first one to look into it, made another Spellcraft check, failing miserably.
"Do I detect any sorcery?"
Paddy turned to me before shaking his head.
While I passed the save after looking into the mirror, the gnome did not and our newfound compatriot quietly flipped shit in the corner. I took the mirror back and tried to find an exit. I looked into it and spun around, trying to detect any doors that were only visible when viewed in the mirror itself. No dice. Finally, I had an idea.
"The gnome needs a jewel." With this profound statement, I ripped my tiny banana-hammock off and, catching my drift, Paddy did the same. The look of horror on Tokyo's face was priceless. When I stepped towards him the little bastard fled in terror down the hallway and back into the other room. Perfect!
Paddy and I arrived in the room, completely naked with loincloths in hand, our hugeness dangling as we walked. You could almost see the gnome's mesmerized look of fear as he watched them swing... Anyhoo, we grabbed him and he whimpered pitifully.
Paddy took him to the wall with the holes in it and wrapped his speedo around the lever inside while I did the same. Eventually coming to the conclusion that we didn't want to rape him, gnomeo did what we told him to and pulled the third lever. Nothing happened. We tried this a few times in different arrangements but the results were the same.
After giving up, we turned back down the hallway to the room with the mirror. Along the way, the gnome decided it was time to talk.
"Can... can you please put your clothes back on?"
The matter settled, I picked back up the mirror and looked into it. This time, I failed the will save.
"There will be only one."
Deciding that if there was only going to be one of us make it out, it would be either Paddy or myself. So, I grabbed the terrorized gnome by the leg and began bashing his head against the wall. Tokyo did not respond well. Paddy and I laughed. (Usually we are not this abusive of our DM's, but Paddy and I, like the majority of our group, despise railroading; better to break him of the habit early.)
As his lifeblood pumped out of his skull and with Tokyo Joe and Paddy staring at me, I used the blood to coat the walls in an effort to reveal any cracks where a hidden door might be. Despite my ingenious idea, we found ourselves with no way forward. I smashed the mirror against the wall in frustration, only the mirror didn't break. It wasn't even scratched. Inspired by two different circumstances, Paddy and I came to three brilliant ideas.
Paddy, noticing that the gnome didn't have nearly enough blood to coat the walls with, and picking up on our rumbling tummies, decided to used the table upon which the mirror had been found and start a fire. The smoke would reveal our door while also adding a nice smokey flavour to our gnome-shapped meal.
My idea was to use the mirror as a pick to break through the walls. Once Paddy voiced his idea, I waited to implement mine until we found the door.
We had to take some time to explain to Tokyo that one can indeed make fire from two sticks (apparently this isn't common knowledge in California...) and, one successful Survival check later, the sweet smell of roasting gnomeflesh filled the room.
While Paddy cooked, I took the time to try and detect a hollow spot in the walls of the room. Once I found what I was looking for, I sat back and hoped the smoke that was beginning to fill the place would confirm my suspicions. Alas, it did not.
Feasting upon our fallen comrade did wonders for our spirit. We put out the fire and toiled away, using the mirror as a weapon against the stone door. We raced against the clock and our own fatigue and though we made some progress, it wasn't nearly enough. Just as we were about to suffocate, the door opened. Greg had us roll another Survival check to determine that we had been conscious roughly a day. There will be only one, indeed.
Moving forward led us into another room, this one with a bowl of wine, slabs of bread and bedrolls. Upon entering the room spoke.
"Eat, drink, sleep." This was followed by the sound of Paddy's dice.
"Do I detect any sorcery?"
"No." Paddy turned to me once more.
That nugget tucked away, sleep sounded good to me and drink likewise to Paddy, so we performed our respective tasks. Paddy, failing a Fort save, found himself drunk on one glass while I, whenever I awoke, found that I felt no more rested than I had before laying down.
Eventually we tried the bread, which was delicious but only increased our hunger, which we abated by eating more smoked gnome. Combined with the wine, it was quite the feast. Coming to the conclusion that the only way forward was to capitulate to Tokyo's demands, we performed all three tasks and, upon awaking, found the way forward visible.
Gathering our things, which included the talking mirror from room two and the talking table from room three, we picked up the bedrolls and stuffed the remaining bread and gnome into one and marched forward.
In the room was a curtain of fire on the far side and four spigots with pictures over them on the near wall. The room spoke.
"I have lost my love but don't know where to find him. His friend says he is in the other room. Where is he?"
Before Paddy could reach for his dice, Tokyo stopped him.
Paddy then turned to me, a big smile on his face.
The matter settled definitively, we turned to the spigots. The plaques above them were, in order, water, sand, paper, and rock. Being a Goliath, I of course grabbed the rock one and drank. Boom, -5 points of strength, no save. Greatly weakened, I turned to Paddy.
He moved to the next one, paper. He drank from it and then walked through the flames.
"Try the next one."
I was so happy that my character was intelligent enough to realise that Paddy referred to the one that he had taken (the one next to mine) and not the one beyond that. Having done so, I followed down the hallway after him.
We came to another room, this one filled with a feast. A proper feast mind you, not that we minded dining daily upon gnome. Before we could begin eating, I was instructed that I found a beautiful Goliath woman in the room. Paddy was informed that he witnessed a beautiful Goliath woman enter the room. Bad times.
"Forgive me, madam," I began, "but I seem to have lost my brother. I just followed him in."
"Funny," the Goliath woman with Paddy's voice responded, "my brother was supposed to be right behind me."
At this point, we try to explain to Tokyo that we had obviously discovered that magic was afoot. Even Paddy's muttered 'sorcery' apparently wasn't enough to clue our characters in to the reality of the situation.
Before we could revolt, music began to play. Will saves were rolled and my character, having failed, fled in abject terror all the way back to the room we awoke in.
Paddy, after stuffing his face, tried to track down the source of the music. He had it cornered once, only for it to climb the wall and sound back behind him again. Before frustration could set in, a second Will save was rolled, which Paddy failed. He found himself just as amorous as I was scared and he ran down the halls in search of the 'attractive female' Goliath who had moments ago ran screaming out of the room. He had some urges to take care of.